


An Orgy No One Asked For

by archbishop_airi



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, i guess i could cut back on the salt intake..., i think i have herpes because there's a dry spot in the corner of my mouth that won't go away, it's not a hydration problem either because i drink hella water, like i've smeared petroleum jelly on it everyday all day and eos but my lips still feel ashy, that has nothing to do with the plot but i just want someone to know my suffering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 13:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21428701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archbishop_airi/pseuds/archbishop_airi
Summary: From the perverse mind that brought you the critically acclaimed "A Ship No One Asked For," comes a tale from the same Love Island Video Game Cinematic Universe (the LITGCU).Featuring everyone's favorite intellectual properties in a crossover more ambitious than Avengers, love is in the air at the Villa! Who will leave with their cherry intact? And who will be incapacitated like Terry Crews' lovers in "White Chicks"? Stay tuned to find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	An Orgy No One Asked For

Danny DeVito needed a break. And maybe a cigar. He'd just finished filming the seventy-third season of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," and he was looking forward to this upcoming vacation on a private island just off the coast of Spain. Usually he didn't indulge in such extravagant luxuries, but being one of the world's most beloved actors, his bank account could withstand the expense.  
The small charter plane touched down on the island's solitary airstrip. As he descended the airplane's stairs, he stopped to take in the gently swaying palm trees, pristine beaches, and clear blue water. His reverie was interrupted by a high-pitched voice.

"It's a me, Mario!"

A short, stocky man with bright, big blue eyes, a bulbous nose, and an impressive mustache stepped out of the tiny airport to greet Mr. DeVito. Danny DeVito, being a vertically challenged man, found himself slightly bemused to meet a male of even less stature than himself for once. "Mario, you say? Do you work here? Peach kick you out or something? Plumbing business on the rocks?"

Mario pretended to faint and yelled "Oh-ho no-o!" 

Danny DeVito eyed Mario warily and grumbled, "Okayyy then." He continued walking towards the airport with his luggage, and Mario jogged ahead to keep up. Mario gestured for DeVito to follow him, as he would be showing the actor to his room in the villa. They walked through a meandering pathway that eventually opened up to a large area where the main building was situated. A firepit with seating, an outdoor gym, and a pool were visible from the steps of the house. Mario unlocked a side entrance, and led DeVito to a room with several queen sized beds. "Let's a go!" Mario said cheerfully.

DeVito stared dumbfounded at the room, then at Mario. "What the fuck is this? Are the other six little dwarves gonna join me?" Mario shifted his balance back and forth between his heels and his toes, smiling mysteriously. Then, he just "Wa-ha-hooo!"s out of the room, leaving Danny by himself.

Danny sighs, and rubs his brow ridge. He picks a bed in the middle, figuring he'd have all the beds to himself, and could change his mind later if he wanted. That was true up until a few minutes later when Mario walked in with Mason and Elijah.  
DeVito does a double take as the two handsome and ripped black men step into the bedroom. "Whoa whoa whoa, what's with Chocolate Thunder and Black Velvet over here? This ain't that kind of resort, is it?"  
Mason's right hand goes to the back of his neck as Elijah suddenly feels tension in his right shoulder. Mario looks expectantly at the two young men and the old thespian and the three takes turns guffawing at each other. Mason is the first to speak.

"Right, I feel like a proper Toby, so can someone please explain what the hell is going on?"  
Elijah pipes up as well. "Yeah like, I thought Love Island was for...young...people." Elijah glances at Danny DeVito, whose chest puffs out indignantly. "The fuck is 'Love Island'? You two bozos need to get lost! I rented this place out for my vacation, and so far you're getting in the way of my R&R." DeVito steps towards Mario. "Mario, please tell these losers rent their own villa."

Mario folds his gloved hands behind his back and shakes his head. He abruptly turns around and exits the room, to the protests of the three men behind him. 

Danny DeVito sighs deeply and turns back to unpacking. Mason looks over at Elijah incredulously and Elijah shrugs. Mason stretches. "I'm sure someone higher up from the producers will come and sort this out." He picks the furthest bed from where DeVito is, and plops down. Elijah chuckles uncomfortably. "Maybe this is part of this season's twist? Throw in a famous but old person?" Mason rolls his eyes. "Bruv, they would've chosen someone like Robert Redford or Jane Fonda, yeah? MILFs who're fit. Not Danny Fookin DeVito."  
"I HEARD THAT!" DeVito calls out over his shoulder and aggressively throws his clothes out on his bed.

The sound of footsteps approaches the bedroom once again. "Oh thank goodness," Elijah whispers. "Hey--oh. It's you again." Elijah tries unsuccessfully to hide the disdain in his voice as Mario walks back in with another man. This one is tall, well-built, dressed in all white with a single silver earring.

Mr. Clean looks around the room at the three men, smiling politely. "I look forward to working with you all on this production. The Mr. Clean brand is especially honored to be working with such a respected artist such as yourself for this commercial, Mr. DeVito. Your unkempt aesthetic is exactly the proof our company needs to show the world how well our products actually do work!"  
Danny stares at him blankly. "The fuck did you just call me?"  
Mason and Elijah glance at each other and then at Mr. Clean and Mario. "A commercial?" Mason queries. "Oh I get it," Elijah pushes his glasses up his nose. "It's a commercial for this season of Love Island and it's sponsored by Mr. Clean...still dunno how Danny DeVito figures into this though..."  
"Imma stop you right there, whatever-your-name-is," Danny DeVito waved his hands, responding to Elijah. Then he addresses Mr. Clean. "Look--I did not sign up to do a commercial with youse guys, no offense. I'm supposed to be on vacation right now, this whole island-" he spreads his arms, "-is for me. So if you could kindly find someplace else to shoot your commercial, that would be greatly appreciated."

Mason jumps up from the bed. "Hold on! Your vacation spot?? This is the Love Island Villa! No way they'd rent it out to a D-lister like you!" Danny DeVito looks like he's about to lunge at Mason's legs. "Why you little--"  
Elijah steps in-between them. "Let's all just take a step back and get this situation sorted. Mario, can you please get your supervisor or whoever to--...Mario?" 

But Mario had already disappeared again. "Damn it!" Elijah stomps his foot. "How does he do that?" Mr. Clean twiddles his thumbs and maintains a strained smile as he tries to meet the others' gazes. Mason looks away. Elijah attempts to return a cordial half-smile, but ends up looking like he's grimacing, while Danny just glowers at Mr. Clean. Mr. Clean tries to ignore DeVito's obvious contempt, and engages with the two younger men. "I'm assuming you two are the models? Do you think you can help me carry in the lighting and filming equipment? It's just me they sent, you see." 

Before Mason or Elijah can respond, Mario reenters with an unnaturally tall man with a head so enlarged, it would normally required urgent medical attention. He...it? Comes in with some red balloons, and passes them out to the others, including Mario, who squeals with glee while the others respond with various degrees of confusion, fear, and revulsion. Upon finishing his deliveries, the circus clown-esque person returns to Mario's side and grins menacingly at everyone and yet no one in particular.

Mr. Clean is the first to break the silence. He clears his throat. "I take it that um...my other execs decided to do a cross-promotion with Stephen King's iconic villain?" "Mamma mia!" Mario exclaims. Mr. Clean tilts his head at Mario. "It's just that...I'm not sure Pennywise is the best choice for appearing in a commercial."  
"Alright, I've had enough of this bullshit, I'm out." Everyone turns to look at Danny's outburst, and he begins to walk out of the room. Before he can reach the door though, Pennywise grabs Danny by the shoulders and lifts him up. DeVito starts screaming, and Mr. Clean tackles Pennywise as Elijah looks on in horror and Mason bolts to hide under the nearest bed.  
"Slap slap slap, clap clap clap. Slap slap slap, clap clap clap." 

Everyone stops what they're doing to stare in shock at a nine year old boy shuffling in, reciting the sound effects his hands are making. Mario frowns, pulling out a notepad seemingly out of nowhere, and frantically searching through the pages. Pennywise's eyes gleam and his long, jagged teeth shine with dripping saliva as he releases Danny, who immediately drops to the floor, landing on his face and breaking his glasses.  
Elijah breaks out of his trance and looks at random corners of the room, expecting a hidden camera to record his reaction. Pennywise offers a red balloon to the young Bolbi Stroganovksy, who accepts with glee. Mr. Clean steps in front of Bolbi, crossing his arms and looking Pennywise directly in the eyes, unflinching. Pennywise just blinks and giggles innocently. 

Mario looks up from notepad and return it to the void he pulled it out from. "Okee dokee," he says in a somber, somewhat annoyed tone. Mario grabs Bolbi by the wrist and drags him away. Pennywise's face falls with disappointment.

Several minutes pass by, and the men become restless. Mario is nowhere to be seen. They keep their distance from each other, and try not to meet each other's gaze. Finally, Mr. Clean speaks up. "Well I'm going to go unload my equipment myself, and get to work shooting my commercial. Might as well." The others glance at each other skeptically as Mr. Clean walks out. After a few moments, he returns with a tripod and light fixture. He makes a couple more trips and brings out the rest of the filming gear. Danny DeVito grumbles, and reluctantly offers to help set up. About an hour passes, and the set up is ready. Mario still hasn't checked in.

Mr. Clean claps to get everyone's attention. "Who's ready to be a star?"


End file.
